Spiritual Leader Burnout reason number 5:

Literalism versus Contextual Use of Scriptures

Why should the literal use of Scriptures lead to burn out? I see two main reasons:

First when Christian spiritual leaders read the Old Testament and take it literally, they are basically proclaiming the Jewish law, the Jewish worldview and a Jewish theology to be “Christian”. By confusing the two very distinct parts of the bible, and by taking the historical and contextual dimension out of the Hebrew Scriptures, spiritual leaders have to preach and teach a theology that often does not match what Jesus said or stood for. The consequence is that Christian spiritual leaders are becoming incongruent and contradictory, as they proclaim a Jewish theology while essentially being Christians. This unacknowledged contradiction causes stress and leads to confusion and exhaustion in both spiritual leaders and their listeners/followers.

Secondly if Christian spiritual leaders read the New Testament literally and do not take into consideration the cultural and historical dimension of the many different authors who wrote the New Testament collection of books and letters, they put themselves into the position of asserting an antique and male dominated interpretation and cultural background also as the norm for our current cultural circumstances nearly 2000 years later. This can create great tension between spiritual leaders and their followers. When spiritual leaders take the New Testament literally, then they often have to condemn the current world as it is. When setting the historical time in which Jesus happened to be born absolute, spiritual leaders ignore the necessary hermeneutic practice of translating one context into another, seeking similarities, and acknowledging differences or incongruencies openly. Initially a literal use of New Testament Scriptures might seem to make things easier. However, a literal approach can easily lead to the isolation and estrangement of spiritual leaders as listeners will feel judged and misunderstood by such literal interpretations. Stress and burnout can be the consequence for leaders who believe that their literal interpretation is the only “right one” and everybody else is “wrong”. This kind of thinking can lead to listeners/followers completely rejecting the spiritual leader as self-righteous and judgmental. The leader’s consequent feelings of isolation, resentment and anger/rage can lead to emotional burnout while they lock themselves into false dualistic “black and white”, “right and wrong” way of thinking. They are consequently in danger of embracing fanatism or fundamentalism as further draining and destructive stances that easily emerge when leaders are feeling rejected or challenged.

On the other hand a contextual/historical understanding of Scriptures opens up multidimensional ways of understanding historical and spiritual texts. The process of learning to tolerate ambivalences while openly acknowledging historical and contextual contradictions and differences can lead to a leader’s maturation and greater resilience. Parallel to the spiritual leaders’ increasing flexibility of considering all contexts involved, listeners/followers will also feel considered and understood. The relational and spiritual connections between spiritual leaders and their communities are strengthened. Spiritual leaders’ experiences of “literalism burn out” can be reduced or prevented.

All of us spiritual leaders are encouraged to seek additional and/or ongoing education to learn about the historical and contextual use of all religious scriptures. Professional spiritual leaders need to lead others by becoming deeply contextual while “holding the bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other” as the Swiss theologian Karl Barth asserted.

Spiritual Leader Burnout reason number 4:

Neglecting the “body” versus achieving holistic wellness

The role of a spiritual leaders can tempt us to focus too much on and idealize our mind and spirit while discounting our physical dimension. This often has to do with one’s religion’s discounting of the “flesh” as the inferior dimension of life. Having the daily task of preaching, teaching and leading others in spiritual matters is a rewarding and difficult job. Some spiritual leaders neglect their own physical health because they identify completely with their spiritual role and regard it the most important, over and above their own physical well-being. Some actually falsely believe that sacrificing their own bodies as part of God’s calling or will. Others would like to take care of their bodies, but are being swept away with the stress of a 24/7 job of being “professional care providers”. They are aware of their physical needs, but regret and suffer from stress that leads to their neglect or complete lack of self-care.

How do spiritual leaders overcome such internal and external obstacles to physical self-care and well being? The first step is to admit that one’s physical wellbeing is indeed the basis for everything else. Without a healthy body, none of our emotional or spiritual care will be possible over a long period of time. The second step is putting physical self-care in one’s calendar and regarding it as important as everything else. Finding a wellness coach who can design a personalized plan can be a new beginning, or joining a community that focuses on healthy life style choices like healthy eating or exercising. If alcohol or drug addiction has become a secret regular coping mechanism, joining a regular AA group will be the first step of a physical recovery. Here in Atlanta spiritual leaders are fortunate to have access to an amazing resource in the wellness coach Karen Webster who is specialized working with clergy to improve their physical wellbeing. She is the executive director and co-founder of the Healthy Seminarians Healthy Church Initiative.

 

 

Spiritual Leader Burnout reason number 3:

“Spiritual Idealism versus Spiritual Realism”

I have watched many professional and lay spiritual leaders burn out, when their own spirituality gets stuck in a phase I want to call “Spiritual Idealism”. This is the phase in one’s spiritual development where one holds onto certain phrases or truths no matter what. We recite those truths over and over, and offer them to others at any opportunity. Those scripture verses or wisdom words are meant to comfort, give hope, strengthen and often also distract from one’s distress or negative feelings. Like spiritual “good feel” pills, those over and over recited spiritual words like: “God does not give us more than we can handle” or “God always protects his own” become phrases we use often. However, these wise sounding words usually begin to loose their meaning over the years when reality proves otherwise. Many times life gives people more than they can handle or good God fearing people are not protected from harm or crisis experiences. Spiritual Idealism can lead to burn out, as the gap between those tightly held ideas and the experienced reality becomes broader and broader. Helplessness and doubt creep up in the spiritual leaders who uphold those idealistic phrases and notions, but no real spiritual growth happens anymore. Outside expectations remain as to have all the answers and to “fix everything”, and thus many spiritual leaders start performing. They become actors who deep inside know that their words are empty. However, “the show must go on”. Letting go of such spiritual platitudes and facing the raw emotions that come with the many unanswered questions of reality invites us into the next stage of spiritual development: “spiritual realism”. The breaking of false images of God and the letting go of our comfortable answers that were meant to fix quickly what cannot be fixed as it is too complex, actually produce spiritual growth. Letting go of old believes creates the fertile ground for new, more open and more aware ways of seeking God. And when spiritual leaders begin to seek God again in their every day reality (without having to fix or to give an immediate answer) they gain humility and a new authenticity that both become wonderful spiritual antidotes against burnout.

One way to enter “spiritual realism” and leave “spiritual idealism” behind is to covenant with a Spiritual Director. A Spiritual Director is a wonderful support and guide during times of sometimes painful spiritual growth, especially when our idealism dies due to overwhelming life events or due to spiritual burnout. Many Episcopal churches have spiritual directors on staff or Monasteries offer spiritual retreats and spiritual direction.

Spiritual Leader Burnout reason number 2:
“Unawareness of one’s family of origin patterns versus awareness of them and the freedom to make new choices.”

Working within spiritual communities and holding a certain role of authority (“parent position”) awakes basic family systems dynamics for all participants. Actually, a congregation of 200 member families comprises a complex family system of 200 various micro family patterns that together weave a large macro family pattern. This is the preexisting pattern that the spiritual leader steps into when taking on a particular position. Becoming a player in this larger family can become a smothering and restrictive experience when it resembles the leader’s unconscious and unresolved family of origin dynamics. It is just a matter of time that certain limiting roles, reactive behaviors and unhealthy projections from all sides begin to drain the energy and joy of the spiritual leader on a daily basis. What initially felt comforting and familiar (and it is fascinating how the leader unconsciously chooses and is being chosen because of a certain “match factor”), eventually becomes an overwhelming macro family dynamic of certain rigid expectations, fixed roles, stuck power dynamics and repetitive core conflicts. Spiritual leaders begin to burn out. They often feel they have no option but to keep “acting” and see themselves tirelessly reacting instead of having the freedom to respond in new ways. This repetitive “relational system dance” can lead to patterns of exhaustion, desperation, boredom or even (mutual) destruction. However, if spiritual leaders do their own family of origin work and begin to understand their role, their reaction patterns, their position and unresolved conflicts within their original micro family, they will eventually become free to engage the macro spiritual community in a whole new manner. This phenomenon called “differentiation” becomes the fruit of long and hard work on the self within one’s original family. Such newly aware leaders come to discover the freedom of (possibly 200) new ways of responding to the complex macro family dynamics they are part of. Differentiation is gained initially (among other practices) by honest and authentic engagement, dialogue, forgiveness and painful boundary setting first within one’s own family of origin. Once this challenging task is being undertaken, now in a parallel process, the engagement with the larger spiritual community one has been called to serve will be met with increasing authenticity, new possibilities, renewed hope and energy. A spiritual leader who is aware of self within systems will engage authentically, dialogically, humbly claiming her/his own shortcomings while not shying away from naming destructive patterns within the community, modeling forgiveness and the setting of clear and sometimes initially painful boundaries. Increasing one’s awareness and level of differentiation within systems will bring about real and permanent change. It will open up new ways of responding even within complex systems. Nothing can prevent the burnout of spiritual leaders more than doing this ground laying family of origin work.

Helpful resources to learn more about family systems and leadership are Ronald W. Richardson’s pragmatic books: “Becoming a healthier pastor” and “Creating healthier churches”. More theoretical and comprehensive resources are the classic books by Edwin Friedman: “Generation to Generation” and “Failure of nerve”. The enrollment in a Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program will allow spiritual leaders such family systems engagement in an action-reflection model. A very helpful avenue of pursuing family of origin work and increasing one’s differentiation is individual therapy with a marriage and family therapist.

Until the end of this year, I hope to write 20 short reflections. The past 25 years I had the privilege of educating about 400  future spiritual leaders. They taught me a lot while allowing me to observe the following 20 reasons that contribute to the phenomena of burnout in religious representatives. I am considering writing a self-help book in 2019 for spiritual leaders about how to build resilience and how to overcome burnout:

 Burnout reason number 1:

“Co-dependency versus the freedom from having to please others”

Spiritual leaders who have experienced any kind of neglect or abuse as children are especially vulnerable to the phenomenon called “co-dependence”. Often this word is being used for persons “who are addicted to persons who are addicted and/or abusive”. However, the use of the word can be expanded way beyond this narrow use. It is painful yet liberating when spiritual leaders become aware that any community, including religious communities, can become family-like entities that practice (often hidden) active or passive aggressive neglect or abuse of their members, including their spiritual leaders. Spiritual leaders who come from a neglect or abuse background, but who are unaware of the implications of their personal history, become easily co-dependent in the “attempt to please their religious community at all times”. Recovery and freedom from this very anxious and even at times obsessive response is possible!

For any spiritual professional or lay leader who has experienced this phenomenon, I suggest (among others) the ground breaking book by Melody Beatty: “Co-dependent no more”.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. Abraham Lincoln

Meditation: Just as democracy in German more than eighty years ago, the democratic system in the US today experiences the perversion of basic ethical values as for example “decency”, “order” or “assumed values of right and wrong”. As we are watching the manipulation of facts and the perversion of ethical values we ask ourselves: What is my responsibility as a Christian at this time in history? What ethical values are immune from perversion? Dietrich Bonhoeffer talks about responsibility in his book “Ethics”. At a time where most assumed values were perverted by Hitler’s authoritarian nationalist regime, he writes: “Reason,” “fanaticism,” “conscience,” “duty,” “freedom,” and “private virtuousness” all fail as tools for locating a true ethic…Christian ethics are not formed by a set of abstract principles but by the concrete test of each situation—“Are my actions helping others to be truly human before God?” “Is Christ being formed in them in the world?” How can Bonhoeffer’s words lead us to a deeper and new ethic and a deeper sense of responsibility and into action as Christians?

Prayer: God of history, as we experience the systematic perversion of basic ethical values we feel lost and threatened. Basic human values and basic facts are being changed, manipulated and abused. Many public values that were true a few months ago, no longer seem to hold. We want and need to ground ourselves deeper than ever before. Fill us individually and as Your church worldwide with your Spirit. Help us learn from history. Help us Christians to be the prophetic voices that shout in the wilderness! Come Spirit of truth! Amen

But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. John 16:13

The psychopathology of the masses is rooted in the psychology of the individual. Carl Jung

Meditation: How in the world did our country end up in the situation we are in? Did our individual mental condition become manifested in a collective psychopathology? Our current time in the US can maybe best be described with the words of a trauma survivor. Eve Ensler said: “I think culture is where things change in us deeply. But right now, I think that people are very traumatized. They are very scared. Having grown up in a house with a perpetrator who was violent every day and terrorizing every day, I feel like that this country is suddenly very much like the house and the family I grew up in. Every day we are glued to our phones, glued to our television; “What is this psychopath going to do next? How will he embarrass us? Who will he bully or hurt or humiliate today? It’s so easy to get locked into a syndrome where the perpetrator is ruling your life.”

Prayer: God, our country is going through a severe mental illness. Collectively we have experienced several traumatizing external events in the past months, and then we experience also severe traumatizing reactions and handling of those events. We are afraid. We are feeling trapped in a “family situation” that traumatizes us daily. God have mercy on our country. Restore us to health. Help us to make decisions that lead us collectively out of this system as it is set up currently. Free us from all oppression. Amen

There are six things the Lord… detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family. Proverbs 6:16-19

A simple life is good with me. I don’t need a whole lot. For me, a T-shirt, a pair of shorts, barefoot on a beach and I’m happy. Yanni

Meditation: For the past five days my husband, our 15 year old daughters and I spent our vacation time close to the beach at St. Simon’s. We brought most of our food with us and took just minimal clothing. We packed two boogie boards for the girls to glide head first on the waves and four good books. Our motto as family was: “walk the beach”-“read”-“boogie board”-“eat”-“sleep”- repeat!… My husband and I felt that this time was a foretaste of how retirement might be like, while the girls reconnected with nature as they tried to ride the waves. They laughed a lot while getting a deserved break from social media and from stress over homework. As a family we had wonderfully healing days of living a simplified life. And yet, these were days of abundance. Now that we are re-entering our daily routine, how can we individually and as a family hold onto such simpler lifestyle and with that maintain a deeper sense of gratitude and abundance?

Prayer: Abundant God, thank you for nature and for time away from our daily stressors. Thank you for the warm sand, the extra hours of sleep, the fresh and abundant fruit and the time of laughing together and of listening to each other. You simplify our life so we are being pulled closer to you, closer to each other and reminded of what makes us truly content. Amen

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 1 Timothy 6:6-8

Dear Readers,

This is the book that has been printed yesterday for the first time. It entails my blogging from 2017 as a daily devotional. If you need a Christmas gift for somebody or would like to have my meditations handy in print for yourself, you can either purchase it from me directly for a discount of $25 (instead of $28.99 retail price) or you can order it these days from my publishing company at www.iuniverse.com

In a few weeks you should be able to purchase it also from any major book selling company (Amazon, Barns and Nobles etc.). The digital e-version will also come out a few weeks from now.

However, you might decide not to purchase anything, but continue to enjoy my blog website and leave it at that. This, too, would make me happy and content. Writing is a hobby of mine, not a career or money making endeavor. So, I do not have much at stake other than appreciating you, my readers, for your love, support and constructive feedback.

Blessings to you and to yours,

Dorothea

You don’t fight racism with racism, the best way to fight racism is with solidarity. Bobby Seale

Meditation: “When you see something, say something” this is the sentence that my daughters hear every day in school in case violence looms. Sojourners read those words when they travel while waiting at the airport. Words that are calling for solidarity. Words that want to protect from harm, urging all to speak out when danger threatens an individual or the community. The recent emergence of the “Me too” movement is a solidarity movement of women (and men) who have suffered from sexual violence and abuse. This is a new movement of liberation. “When you have experienced something traumatic, dangerous or destructive, say something.” Sexual predators have been able to continue and hide their abusive behaviors for decades and even centuries because they counted on the shame and isolation that sexual trauma causes. In the past predators were able to keep their victims hostage to shame, trauma and silence. Not anymore! A new day has come! A new era has begun! We witness how even after many years, women and men are now coming out. They speak out by saying: “I have been sexually molested. I have been sexually assaulted and taken advantage of. I have been traumatized by a sexual predator.” The solidarity that we are witnessing between survivors of sexual abuse is powerful. And we need this powerful solidarity as “coming out” is being met with violent threats, even death threats, denial, counter accusations, mockery and additional shaming by predators. Standing up for the truth takes solidarity. It takes courageous and strong survivors. We witness both these days.

Prayer: God we pray for all survivors of sexual abuse, women and men, girls and boys. Let the “Me too” movement create unity among all survivors of sexual trauma. Change our society from keeping taboos and from practicing apathy to show solidarity, and tender sympathy towards the survivors. Protect the survivors when they speak their powerful, vulnerable truth. Heal all wounds that sexual trauma causes. Give the community of survivors courageous hearts. Let them find strength to speak truth to power.  Protect those who dare to speak up. Let your church and society at large show humility and solidarity with all who are being oppressed. Amen

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly/sisterly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1. Peter 3:8