I am not a little bit of many things; but I am the sufficient representation of many things. I am not an incompletion of all these races; but I am a masterpiece of the prolific. I am an entirety, I am not a lack of anything; rather I am a whole of many things. God did not see it needful to make me generic. He thinks I am better than that. C. JoyBell C.

Meditation: When one of my daughters was younger she would proudly proclaim: “I am tri-racial”. I would then respond: “Honey, you are bi-racial and tri-cultural”. She paused. “I think I like tri-racial better”… For a child to find her identity means to fully embrace all ethnicities and all cultures that are part of her. The permission to claim ALL of who we are is essential to becoming whole. The idea that we are multiple, either by birth or also by choice is a wonderful thought. When I changed cultures from my German background to the US culture and then married a West African man, a tri-cultural family was born. And in this tri-cultural family bi-racial children are finding a home to explore, to discover, to marvel, to wonder who they are and who they are meant to be in this world. In the shadow of our current American Zeitgeist that reigns by paranoia and fear, by splitting and by simplifying “either-or” thinking, a new generation is born. A generation embracing of multiple gender identities, multiple ethnic identities and multiple cultures that can all be embraced and all be held within one community and even held within one person. These young communities and complex leaders of tomorrow might still be invisible and in the minority today. However, they have a wisdom and a richness that we will call upon when we will have to rebuild our country in the aftermath of the current destruction.

Prayer: God of creation, You are “three persons in one”. For two thousand years we Christians have known You as a “Trinitarian God”. But many Christians reduce You to this “one law driving male despot” that comes handy when they want to justify enforcements of human laws that oppress those who are different than themselves as the fading majority. God, you are incredibly complex and beautiful. You are three in one. You know about multiple identities, because You are one. May everybody who sees him or herself as bi-gender, bi-racial or tri-cultural find comfort in knowing that they are a reflection of You. May they find their identity in You, the beautiful, loving and creating God who we worship as “Three In One”. Amen

Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! Genesis 1:31a

Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. Eckhart Tolle

Meditation: Being in the here and now and feel all that is going on within and around me, can be an overwhelming yet also liberating experience. Responding and not reacting to what I experience makes the here and now MY life and not just my circumstances. When we ground ourselves in God we receive the freedom to respond and no longer just react to our circumstances. We can choose to leave, we can change things or we can accept things totally. What an amazing freedom! And yet, it is a freedom that is first of all a gift of the Spirit. And then: it also takes much practice.

Prayer: God, when I feel scared and overwhelmed, Your Spirit reminds me that I am free in you. Free to choose to leave, free to change and also free to accept things I cannot change. You are with me. My circumstances do not have the last word. Thank you for your Spirit that sets me free. Amen

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2. Corinthians 3:17

There were moments when it hurt so bad you couldn’t breathe, yet somehow you survived the pain. There were days when you could barely put one foot in front of the other, yet somehow you arrived at your destination. There were nights when you cried yourself to sleep, yet somehow you held on until the morning. Your life is nothing less than a miracle. Eleanor Brownn

Meditation: When we look back at times of crisis, we sometimes don’t know how we made it through. There are painful experiences that take our breath away. Night after night when we could not sleep. Days of living in the fog of sadness, fear or depression. And then, SOMEHOW we made it through. We survived the pain. We arrived on the other side. We stopped crying ourselves to sleep at night. We were able to let go and sleep again. Our life is a miracle. Making it through our crisis times is a miracle. Receiving the strength to make it through is a miracle. We are being loved by a “Miracle God” who never leaves our side, who helps us step on solid ground and who first counts and then dries out tears.

Prayer: Gracious God, when we are going through crisis and loss, we wonder where You are. We often feel alone and sometimes even abandoned. However, looking back we can see how You were present with us: in a note or a hug of a friend, in an animal that stayed by our side, in the light of day shining through the window after a long and dark night, in unexpected words of compassion and reassurance that reach us. Help us to trust Your presence when we go through the dark nights of our soul. Amen

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46: 1-3

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you. Anne Lamott

Meditation: During our recent United Church of Christ (UCC) annual meeting I met an African American male pastor who had not taken a vacation since 2003. When he finally took one week off and went on a cruise to the Cayman Islands, he did not know anymore how to relax. He felt uncomfortable and lost when “unplugging”. As I hear a story like this, I feel passionate about being part of a movement in the church that helps pastors explore their daily lack of self-care and then aids them in developing healthy habits and reach a happy and healthy life with and beyond their ministry. At the same meeting I learned that the UCC offers a three year program called “Credo” where clergy do exactly this (the Episcopals and Presbyterians have similar programs): they explore their (lack of) self-care and learn to become more conscious of how to care for themselves while caring for others. Any UCC pastor can apply for this three year program that includes annual week long retreats and the experience of being part of a self-care group of clergy. If you are a UCC clergy, come and join me! The application process for the next three year group begins this Friday.

Prayer: God, I mourn that most of us clergy have bad self-care habits. Many of us think that we have to sacrifice ourselves for our ministry. We over-function, and we are workaholics. We lose ourselves in our ministry activities, and many of us feel guilty when we take time away. Why are we so neglectful of ourselves, when Jesus was such a good role model of self-care? God, help us as a community of clergy to recover from our ministry addiction and from our “unholy” habit of over-working. Amen

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31

 

I’m still experimenting. Stevie Wonder

Meditation: The older we get, the less likely we are to experiment, make changes or try out new things. Our brain  gets easily used to certain patterns and habits. The older we become, the more we cherish rituals and predictable ways of being in the world. However, artists and creative people like Stevie Wonder never get old in the sense of arriving at set patterns or unchangeable ways of being. They thrive on trying something new, different and out of the ordinary. I wish for myself that I will always keep the ability to try something new. I hope I will not shy away from the uncomfortable risk of changing my habits, even if it is only slightly at times. We humans create rituals for a reason. They comfort us. However, they can also “box us in” and “make our brains fall asleep”. I see God’s creative and life giving Spirit as the energy that is eager to try and create something new, while honoring the inherent patterns and rituals of nature.

Prayer: Spirit of the living God, breathe afresh on us. You are ever creating. Help us take the risk experimenting, and even “failing” at times. All amazing inventions were created with thousands of failed experiments. Being alive means trying something new and thinking and acting “outside the box”. Creator God, You breathe Your fresh air of life within us and create “light” in and through us. And we are grateful. Amen

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. Genesis 1: 3+31

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. Jan Glidewell

Meditation: As I am sorting in my basement through eleven years of stored items of the past, I am being challenged to let go of many of my daughters’ childhood toys and games. As I am hoarding these items, it feels as if I do not want my children to grow up. It is as if I want to freeze those “happy and easy” years with them. Am I trying to avoid the current more challenging teen years of change, conflict and individuation? As I am sorting through these mementos, I realize that I am probably just idealizing those younger years, and that I have forgotten that back then I faced just as many challenges as I do today. They were just different challenges. And so I let go of my idealization of the past by allowing the toys and games to become second hand items. I feel comforted when I picture these childhood things of my girls ending up in another child’s bed- or playroom. And then I also feel comfort when I imagine myself eleven years from now looking back at today. I am sure that in retrospect I will also idealize these current teen years. And so I am letting go of the past – game by game and toy by toy. I open my arms wide and embrace the present joy and present challenge by creating a teenage “hangout space”…

Prayer: God of the past and God of the present, thank You for this season in my life. Thank You that I am giving our basement a new purpose. I am allowing for change, as I am converting a storage room into a living space. Help all of us again and again to open our arms and embrace each new season we are in. Help us to let go of idealizing the past, so we can fully experience the joys and challenges of the present. Amen

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven… A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to get, and a time to lose, a time to keep, and a time to cast away…Ecclesiastes 3

“The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t.” Marie Kondō

Meditation: Since we moved into our home eleven years ago, our basement has been a place where everything went that we did not need anymore, or for things that we could not let go of, as they were memories of former important or happy times. And so our basement became a place that only we family members and our exterminator were allowed to enter (and he was graciously walking around the piles of things, probably used to all kinds of cluttered basement spaces). Our basement is crowded, filled with books, papers, toys, memory items, furniture we might need again (or not), clothes, shoes etc. For the past four years, however, our girls dreamt of a large space where they could hang out with their friends and have sleepovers. Well, this summer I finally had enough. The time has come. I have started decluttering. Every evening I am spending about three hours in the basement sorting, cleaning out, filling bags for the second hand store, for the garbage bin and for the recycle container. The smallest bags are thankfully the “keep” bags. And so we are getting rid of what we don’t need, to make room for what our teenagers need. The clutter in the basement has been a load on my mind for years. As I am seeing the clutter diminish in small increments, and as I am making daily trips to “Goodwill” and the recycling container, I begin to feel so much lighter. Not only my girls needed this decluttered space. I did not know how much I needed it too.

Prayer: God, our clutter fills us with a heaviness that we often get used to, as the clutter accumulates so gradually. We hold on to the past as if keeping things would guarantee us happiness in the future. Sometimes tightly held on items even become our idols. Help us to let go of things that represent more a fear, a habit or a burden, than truly something we need or cherish. Help us to declutter our lives so that new space is being created that allows for new experiences, for new guests, new friends, new life…And we are grateful. Amen

Let go of your concerns! Then you will know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. Eckhart Tolle

Meditation: The “Kingdom of God” means “God here and now”. It means “God being near, God being present”. Jesus talked a lot about the Kingdom of God having come. Later this Kingdom was equated with Jesus himself. Many of the qualities that Jesus embodied had to do with “being fully present”. People gathered around him, wanted to touch him, wanted to be seen and heard by him, as love and healing emanated from his presence. When we learn to be fully in the present moment, we participate in this healing realm of God. We are being freed from fear about the future and liberated from resentment about the past. Love does this. Love in the here and now is the power that can overcome all anxiety about the future and heal all hurt from the past.

Prayer: God, being fully present without worrying about the future or grieving about the past is so hard. Often we get distracted or overwhelmed by our emotions either looking forward or looking back. You modelled a way of living in the here and now. You loved whoever came your way. You allowed to be touched by whoever wanted to feel your presence. Help us to live today in this manner. Breathing deeply, feeling the sunshine, enjoying the small encounters we have, the smile exchanged in passing. Today is the day. Today is all we have. And we are grateful. Amen

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:31-33 (NIV)

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon

Meditation: At the age of 21 Paul Simon wrote the song “Sounds of Silence” about the inability of people to communicate with each other especially emotionally. What Simon saw around him were people unable to love each other. Prophets on the other hand are those who love people and who therefore whisper truth into the sounds of silence. They are those who are able to communicate their emotions and who tell the hard truths we all need to hear. They are the ones who challenge us to hear God’s Word that demands love and justice for all. As an immigrant, I am bothered by the American rule of not talking about politics at work. Oftentimes in the past 18 months horrendous changes have happened that impacted especially those who take public transportation and who live in public housing. But we as the more affluent and privileged comfortably park our cars at our offices and then collude by remaining silent about the injustices we witnessed happening. We yield the culturally prescribed silence. And as we remain silent, God remains silent. When we stop talking about the impact of policies, we accept the emotional cancer that has invaded us.  We collude in silence with a government that creates a culture of oppression, lies, distraction and confusion.

Prayer: God, “in the naked light I saw ten thousand people, maybe more. People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never share, and no one dared disturb the sound of silence. Fools, said I, you do not know silence like a cancer grows.” God, our society suffers from the cancer of silence. Hear the screams of those who are being oppressed right now. Hear the prophetic voices accusing the current government of injustice that are written on the subway walls, the housing projects’ walls and on prison walls. We pray that You call more and more prophets to speak into the silence who come from all walks of life, from all races, from all ages, all nationalities, all religions and all classes. Your voice may not be silenced. Amen

You have seen it, O LORD, do not keep silent; O Lord, do not be far from us. Psalm 35:22

 

The bond between friends cannot be broken by chance; no interval of time or space can destroy it. Not even death itself can part true friends. John Cassian

Meditation: It has been six months since my best Kindergarten friend died. I saw her last a year ago when I visited her in Germany. At the time she battled cancer for the second time. Today I talked to a dear friend who just lost her best friend to a traumatic sudden death. The loss of a friend is like a gaping wound. It is so sensitive that it hurts just having air touch it. Losing one’s friend is like losing a limb. We will always feel this part of us missing that cannot be replaced. At the same time, in the midst of our tears, we experience a smile when we think about them. We even laugh recalling moments we had together. At times we can see their faces and even hear their voices. While we feel the pain that an amputee feels, we also experience a bond that cannot be broken. There are “love strings” that remain, no matter what. At times we feel overwhelmed and even guilty for living on. We wonder, “how can our life continue when their life does not?” “How can we laugh and hug our children, when they are no longer able to do so?” And then we close our eyes and hear their voices saying to us: “Hug your children and if you can, hug our children as well for us. Live your life, laugh and live to the fullest in remembrance of me. Just don’t forget the special bond we share.”

Prayer: God of love, in times like these when tears stream freely, and when we feel like our eyes and hearts “are constantly leaking” because of the gaping wound where our friends had been before, we come to You for comfort. We bring to You the pain of our gaping hearts, the sorrow we feel for our friends’ families and the heartache that won’t go away. Heal our broken hearts. Embrace our friends with Your light and Your love. Let them know how much they are loved. And based on the warmth in our hearts, we believe that they know. And we feel a gentle moment of comfort and of hope in the midst of our grief. Amen

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3