The secret to multitasking is that it isn’t actually multitasking. It’s just extreme focus and organization. Joss Whedon

Meditation: As a working Mom my life is very full. Today I had gone to work, driven my daughter to the doctor afterwards, then gone to Aldi (a German grocery store) and on my way out I joined an evening church council meeting over the phone. While I put my groceries away, supervised (with a muted phone) my daughter baking Vegan muffins, fed the dog and threw a stinking dissection science project in the trash, all the while listening in and participating in our church meeting, I thought: “What a full life”! Some Christians judge “multitasking” as being evil and too distracting. Sure, I love to live mindfully and only do one thing at a time. That is my ideal as well. However, sometimes there are these days, when I need to wear the “working, housekeeping and mothering hats” all at the same time. I knew that this particular day would be full. I had written lists for the groceries, prepared the church council minutes and dropped them off, left early to make it to the doctor on time, bought everything for Vegan muffins and asked my daughter to watch the video on dissecting a worm, so we did not actually have to do it ourselves. Yes, multitasking means preparing ahead and focusing. Only then it feels abundant and actually fun, instead of becoming chaotic and overwhelming.

Prayer: God of abundant life, thank You for the joy of “multitasking” while focusing on what is important. Thank You for the ability to prepare ahead and to triage. Thank You for this full day. Thank You for every moment, every encounter, every resource You give me to manage my life. Thank You for my many hats. I don’t want to miss any one of them. Thank You for showing us abundant ways of living. Amen

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10 b(NASB)

 

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Nelson Mandela

Meditation: How do we triumph over and conquer our fear? This is easier said than done. One of the first steps is to acknowledge the fear and identify what the fear is about. Then we often feel compelled to “get rid of the fear” by “expelling” it: We either begin denying it, or we start talking about it to everybody who would listen. Both of these coping mechanisms help keep the fear at bay, but they do not help conquer the fear. To overcome fear, we need to “own and befriend” it. We need to admit to ourselves: “This is the fear I have. It is my very personal fear. Nobody can take it away or magically cure it.” As we begin sitting with our fear, it is helpful when someone who is less anxious also sits with us. Listening to our fear we might discover some lies or untruths we have picked up along our life journey that make us feel afraid. We might also discover that we need to go deeper into our fear by asking questions and gathering more information. At other times, we will discover a family story that generates our fear: an ancestor struggled with something, and now we are afraid we will face the same struggle. As either a person sits with us and listens, or God is being present with us in prayer while we are uncovering the swirling thoughts that our fear generates, we grow calmer. Our fear transforms from feeling like a demon “that has us” to feeling like an explored challenge “that we have”. Spiritually we begin living in the interim space of “already –not yet”. We have already conquered our fear, but we are not yet completely free from it. And this is the space called “courage”.

Prayer: God of courage, You want to be with us as we explore our fear. You want to walk with us as we gather more information about that which scares us. You send us persons who can calmly sit with us as we explore the depth of our fear. And You want to help us transform out fear from a demon into a challenging friend. God, we pray for all who need courage to face the next challenge on their journey. Provide for them all that they need to be brave. Amen

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 (NIV)

 

Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. Catherine M. Wallace

Meditation: When children grow up without being heard, listened or attended to, they do not believe that they matter or that those things that are in their heads and hearts make a difference. However, whenever a child feels truly listened to and attended to, no matter how small or big the concern or thought she has, she feels like she matters and she is loved. As parents we fail our children when we are too busy or too distracted to listen to them. Putting our cell phones or our laptops aside and truly listen to our children is the biggest gift we can give them, and sometimes the hardest to be intentional about. Small acts of listening can make all the difference in the relationship with our children. When they become teens they won’t share all the little things that are going on in their lives. But if we attended to them before, they know that we as parents are available when they need us to listen. And so even though teens are very inconsistent in their sharing, we as parents better be consistent in our willingness to listen. As not listening can estrange them from us faster than we think. Yet attending when invited and being available to listen will keep our teens connected with us, no matter what.

Prayer: Gracious God, some children have nobody but You to listen to them. Thank You for children that find You when their families fail them by not paying attention or not listening to them. Thank You for families whose parents listen, attend and care. Let us all find safe places where we are listened to. Thank You that prayer is such a safe place where we are listened to. And let us all experience at least one person in our life who listens, so that we can feel important and become whole. Amen

Surely God has heard, and he paid attention to my prayers. Psalm 66:19 (ISV)

 

You can talk yourself into a good emotional state. I stop for a second, take a deep breath, and think about something that’s beautiful. A beautiful thought for me is cutting the umbilical cord for my child. I can guarantee you that your emotional state will change. Montel Williams

Meditation: Life can be very stressful. Often we are “being lived” by all the demands that pull on us. We forget to slow down. We are reminded today that talking ourselves into a good emotional state starts with a deep breath. As Christians we see this breath as our connection with God as the source of our very being. And as we slow down, as we breathe and pray, we remember all we are grateful for: the life of our children and children’s children, our loved ones and friends, our animals and the many moments of grace that come our way every day. Yes, thinking about beautiful things can ground us. And breathing deeply and praying can be a wonderful way of slowing down. Often in our hectic lives, however, we might not be able to find much time to sit down to meditate or to pray. And yet, we can always practice a so called “breath prayer”. A breath prayer has a long Christian tradition. It attaches the breath to a few words breathing in, and then a few words breathing out, like: “God, You have made me”. “You give me life”. “I am Yours.” “Peace is mine”. And as we practice this short “breath prayer”, if only for a few breaths at a time, we become reconnected with God as our grounding and as the source of our good emotional state.

Prayer: Life giving God, we thank You for the breath that sustains us. We breathe and we remember You, Giver of Life. We are not alone in the hectic of our daily lives. You give us beautiful moments to enjoy and hold onto. You gift us with so many small and big moments of love. Let us remember You. Let us breathe, let us pray, let us be thankful. Amen

The spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Ruler of all gives me life. Job 33:4

If our children are becoming teenagers who are abusive, have mental health issues, and are committing heinous crime, it only means that we have failed them as a society. We have failed to give them a safe, nurturing environment to ensure that they are well-balanced, useful persons in the society. Vikram Patel

Meditation: We are failing our children as a society. Many children whose family systems break down for economic or mental health reasons fall through the cracks of our social network. These most vulnerable children often lack a safe and nurturing environment. The foster system is often a way for adults to make money rather than provide nurture to children. At 18 foster children are forced out of the foster system and have to live on their own. Often they end up becoming homeless. I wonder how our churches respond to this crisis. I hardly hear or see children in church who are not from a so-called “intact family”. Are churches reaching out to those children and teens who are especially vulnerable? Are foster parents or parents with economic and mental health challenges reaching out to spiritual communities for support? And would they find it if they did? How are we as church failing society? And how is society then failing these children? Mental health begins in communities. Is your church a church that guides, comforts, helps and is patient with children and with teens as they struggle with their families’ conditions and with mental health issues? Could you be a mentor to one of those children who are falling through the safety net? Could your church become a safe place for children who are seeking nurture?

Prayer: Healing God, we pray for all our children and teens who are struggling with mental health issues as depression, post traumatic stress, addiction, suicidal ideations, self-destruction and rage towards others. You know what happened that these children have developed these emotional wounds and are now failing to cope. Open our eyes to see those children who are falling through the safety net. Open Your churches as a resource to society and as a safe place for children and teens to experience nurture and acceptance. Let us be the body of Christ with open eyes and outreaching hands. Amen

And we urge you, brothers and sisters, admonish the undisciplined, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient toward all. 1. Thessalonians 5:14 (NET)

 

Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty and dies with chaos. Will Durant

Meditation: “Chaos” is captured within the Hebrew expression ”Tohu-wa-bohu”. This term describes the condition of the earth immediately before the creation of light. The kind of chaos that Genesis describes here is creative and generative chaos. It is the chaos during the experience of giving birth. Or the chaos of artistic enterprise and of creative expression. All those forms of chaos lead to new life. “Tohu-wa-bohu” is life-giving and birth giving chaos. However, there is also a kind of chaos that leads to death and to decay. This kind of chaos exists in the White House today. The current leadership first undermined civil order by leaving many government positions unfilled and by putting people in leadership positions tasked with making their department non- or dysfunctional. The growth of our society has been undermined with taking away liberties and stopping access to health insurance and programs that protect the poor and needy. The chaos we are experiencing in the White House today is not life and birth giving, but an expression of dysfunctionality and decay. Civilization dies with chaos. Democracy dies with chaos. May the “Tohu-wa-bohu” of our democracy rise and overcome the current chaos that leads to death.

Prayer:  Life giving God, as our children and teens nationwide prepare to walk out of school classrooms for 17 minutes seven days from today to protest the Florida school shooting and to demand gun control, let their actions become life giving and birth giving “Tohu-wa-bohu”. Let their protest speak loudly. May their voices be heard nation wide. May any threats of retaliation of school principals and intimidation by our government not be able to stop our Youth from standing up for their right to protest gun laws and to demand to live and to learn in safe environments. We pray for an end of the destructive chaos that emanates from the White House. Amen

Now the earth was formless and empty (“Tohu-wa-bohu”), darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:2 (NIV)

I’ve learned over the years that people are human and have mood swings, regardless of how talented they are. Today, I’m looking at life from a realistic point of view instead of the way I would want things to be. Otis Williams

Meditation: Being human means having mood swings. Some of us experience them every few hours, others every few days. Our “emotional body” (or our heart as the Bible calls that place where our emotions are at home) is a vital part of who we are. Spending time with teenagers every day, I experience the ups and downs of their mood swings first hand. I am learning to take the highs or the lows neither personally nor too seriously, while respecting the experiences that prompt those mood swings. I am trying to stay present with my daughters where they are at each moment, instead of telling them how they “should feel”. At times I am being impacted by certain moods that “come at me”. The challenge is not to take on the energy that comes my way, but to understand that I am a safe place for my daughters to unload, to express and to practice “tolerating and holding” their emotions. Often as parents we need to be the ones “holding” the mood swings for our children, until they can hold them themselves. “Holding” means not reacting, not punishing, not judging and not ridiculing. As I accept my daughters’ (and my own) mood swings, they (and I) learn to accept the broad spectrum of our human experience. When we feel accepted with our contradictions, our sometimes extreme reactions and feelings, we learn to accept ourselves. And acceptance usually calms the wide pendulum swings of emotions. Looking at this phenomenon closely, I recognize that accepting, holding and managing our mood swings definitely falls under the spiritual “Grace” department.

Prayer: Gracious God, You know our heart, and You know our concerns. Be with us as we deal with emotions that frighten us, confuse or overwhelm us. Hold us as we fluctuate from sadness to joy, from anxiety to anger. Thank You that You accept us just the way we are, just the way we feel. Thank You for Your accepting Grace that holds and strengthens us as parents when we struggle to hold our children’s mood swings. Thank You that through Your Grace and through our parental grace, our children can learn to accept and love themselves, including their wide ranging emotions. Thank You that the experience of Your Grace provides calmness and peace. Peace that holds our hearts and that surpasses our understanding. Amen

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my concerns. Psalm 139:23 (MEV)

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it. Evan Esar

Meditation: This quote is by a man who was born in 1899 and died in 1995. It is interesting how he (as a representative of the 20th century) assumes three things in one sentence, namely first that a woman does the housework, secondly that it does not get noticed, and thirdly that the woman will be noticed when she does NOT do the housework. Personally I grew up with such traditional values and assumptions. My life as a female teenager included 50% homework and 50% housework. This is how I found my identity in a traditional cultural set up. Today, as a 21st century, postmodern woman, I spend about 50% a day on my work life and 40% present with my family and 10% on housework. With this shift, I actually experience housework partly as necessary chores that just have to be done, but mostly also as enjoyable moments of being alone. Folding laundry or washing dishes while listening to Jazz music have become refuge moments for me. I am surely noticed daily by my husband and my daughters. Yes, they do notice times when the laundry or the dishes are not done, whenever life gets too full. (And they are working on pitching in.) However, they mostly notice me for being present with them and for being joyful for having my own life and career. I am grateful that I can role model for my girls that am noticed as a female for who I am and for what I do, and not for what I have NOT done.

Prayer: Jesus, thank You for Your encounter with Maria and Martha. Thank you that even two thousand years ago you broke through patriarchal stereotypes by valuing both women, but liberating the one who got stuck engaging in housework worries, which You did not regard as essential. I pray for Your Spirit to help all of us, women and men alike, to not succumb to patriarchal role expectations. I pray for all of us to examine our gender specific fixed assumptions and our stereotypical ways of thinking. Thank You that Your Spirit always wants to lead us to freedom. Amen

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Melody Beattie

Meditation: Melody Beattie is the author of “Co-dependent no more”. She uses her own story to help others who grew up in families where addiction and abuse were part of the daily experience. Her recovery inspired thousands of others. Her descriptive and non-judgmental language educated many and normalized the consequences of having grown up in addicted family systems. Her liberating example and message is that in recovering and in letting go of trying to control one’s environment, co-dependent persons can be freed from their addiction to addicted and abusive persons and systems. Gratitude becomes one of the spiritual resources of being able to surrender control and fear. In relating with gratitude to one’s Higher Power that wants to save all of us from abuse, addiction and even from ourselves, we find freedom and the power to transform our life patterns.

Prayer:  Healing God, when we come to you, depleted from the patterns we find ourselves stuck in, you want to open up new possibilities. You give us guides, role models, teachers who point us in new directions. Help us to embrace gratitude as the means of breaking out of our relationship cycles of hatred, abuse and addiction. You want to give us resources we never had available. You teach us new ways of relating, new ways of seeing and of drawing boundaries. You teach us gratitude and self-respect. You are the source of all healing. And we are grateful. Amen

Therefore with joy you shall draw water out of the wells of salvation. Isaiah 12:3

 

You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Virginia Woolf

Meditation: Today I found one of my teenage daughters sobbing while sitting in a corner in the library. She had watched videos about the recent Florida school shooting for her Social Studies class. Experiencing herself in a public space doing her homework, she experienced an anxiety attack right after watching those videos. When I came to pick her up, she expressed sadness and strong feelings of hate towards the shooter and towards our current government’s lack of response. I had a two-fold response as her mother: I asked her to not watch videos like this alone and in a public space that does not feel safe to her, but only together with somebody she can talk to and in a safe environment. I also acknowledged her anger and pain as the appropriate response of becoming a conscious person living in today’s world. I then allowed her to stay home the rest of the day as she needed to emotionally and physically recover. Reflecting on this experience, I am aware that “false peace” would mean to shield my teenage daughter from life images and life information as we adults experience it. I am aware that my daughter cannot find peace by avoiding life. However, I want to have ongoing conversations with her, in the midst of her encountering life as chaotic, violent and scary, what seeking and pursuing peace could look like and mean for her.

Prayer: God of Peace, the world we live in is chaotic. Every day we are being bombarded with images of evil and insulting information. I pray that You help us not to repay same with same. Teach us how to love life and how to keep our tongue from evil and deceit. Help us to do good. Help us to bless and become a blessing. Lead us to seek peace and become peace makers. God, in the midst of the craziness of our times, have mercy on us and on our children. Continue to pour out Your peace into our hearts. We are grateful, as Your peace surpasses all our understanding. Amen

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.  For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 1. Peter 3: 9-11 (NIV)