The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares. Henri Nouwen

Meditation: When I was growing up my father was called to a family whose father went through such difficult time of depression and anxiety that all he could do was lock himself in his room and never come out. Even his family members were not allowed into his space, as he was so scared and in a dark place. They would just bring him food and leave it at his door, just like a prisoner. The family in their time of need called my father who was their pastor. My father would visit daily and sit on the other side of the door. Not much was spoken. My father prayed for the man after long times of silence, and he prayed for him after he left. All the man knew was that my father was there and that he would come back the next day. After a few weeks the man agreed to get help. He was seen by a doctor and received medication for his depression and anxiety. Eventually he was able to leave his room. I never forgot how my father handled this very difficult situation.

Prayer: God of patience, You know the dark nights of our soul, our prison cells, our slimy pits, the mud and mire we are covered with. You know our anxieties and our isolation. When we cry out for help, You hear us. You turn toward us. You send us Your messengers who care. You wait patiently. You lift us out of our dark night of the soul when we are ready. You give us a firm place to stand again. And we are grateful. Amen

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40: 1-2

I think there ought to be a club in which preachers and journalists could come together and have the sentimentalism of the one matched with the cynicism of the other. That ought to bring them pretty close to the truth. Reinhold Niebuhr

Meditation: For the past 96 days I have enjoyed the NPR radio show “Indivisible” that has been on the air weekdays at 8pm for the first 100 days of the Trump administration. I enjoyed hearing the dialogue between very different perspectives and the “cross- fertilization” that happened. As people who include spirituality in our approach to life we need to talk to people who approach life differently than we do. This exercise can protect us from possibly becoming removed from reality or “sentimental” as Niebuhr puts it. At the same time we can contribute a perspective that persons who approach life “cynically” as Niebuhr calls it might need to hear or be reminded of. I hope that another show like “Indivisible” will be aired after the first 100 days. We desperately need safe spaces to invite each other to ask questions and to listen.

Prayer: God, teach us to listen. Help us walk in another person’s shoes for a moment. Help us to see the world through another person’s eyes for a while. Fill us with your Spirit of patience. Help us speak our truth in love. Help us not to react. Be our model so we can find that space where we can truly listen to each other and let go of extremes. Help us to extend love as Jesus did. Teach us to extend invitations rather than place judgment. Amen

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Philippians 2:2-3

 

Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail. Martin Luther

Meditation: The days after Easter I always live with a heightened wonderment about the resurrection. I was tickled when I saw this quote by Martin Luther. I wondered if he had a dog like our dog. We got Zoe four years ago. She was a rescue dog, first lovingly raised by an older lady, but then given to a family whose male adult was abusive towards family members and towards Zoe. She still does not like males, as her trauma gets triggered every time she sees them. She weighs 5 pounds and is a Yorkie/Poodle mix. When she was born, somebody cut off her tail, probably thinking that as she was a half poodle, this needed to be done. So, we got her at 1.5 years old with her little stump for a tail. Isn’t it funny, now after knowing her for several years, I am so used to her that I am always surprised when I see dogs who have a tail. For her to get a “golden tail” one day, following Luther’s theology, would be a nice thought. However, more so I pray that she will stop barking at males and feel safe again. I believe God will restore us after death, yet not change the essence of who we are. So, I can see Zoe happy in Resurrection also without a tail, but freed from her trauma. And if she remains without a tail, I will also have an easier time finding her (smile)…

Prayer: God of eternity, we are grateful that You care deeply about life. All life, all of creation, including the animals. Resurrection is the promise that You will restore creation and that death will not have the final word. Death is a transition. And life after death holds the promise of healing and restoration. Thank You for keeping the essence of who we are in Your eternal love and care. Even if our bodies might not fully get restored, our soul and essential traits will. And we are grateful! Amen

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Luke 12:6

Zoe – in her favorite blanket

 

 

 

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. E. E. Cummings

Meditation: Since I turned 50, I have found a new sense of just being who I really am. I no longer want to please or adapt, nor worry about what others might think of me. I feel more clarity about my strengths and the values that I stand for, and I am also more keenly aware of my weaknesses and my ongoing “growing edges”. Our twins are teenagers now and are beginning to discover themselves, wondering who they are and who they might become. We taught them never to compare themselves to each other or to others, so they both allow for their differences to show. No matter how supportive an environment is, it takes courage to grow up and courage to be a grown up. When I model to them how to accept myself with my strengths and also my shortcomings, I help them embrace their own. When I love and forgive myself even when I make a mistake or something does not go well, my girls learn to embrace their own moments of so called “failure”, which are really great moments of learning and maturing. It took me many years to find this courage to embrace all of me, just as it will take many years for our girls to discover and embrace all of themselves. But what an exciting and courageous journey it is!

Prayer: God of becoming, we thank You for this ongoing journey of discovery and of becoming who we really are. Thank You for Your Spirit that fills our hearts with courage to keep walking, especially when we would like to stop, when the going gets tough and when we discover things about ourselves we would have rather not known. And yet, You know us fully. You look at us with delight, compassion and with acceptance. You call us to let go of the former and allow the fullness of who we are to break forth. And we are grateful. Amen

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, and I thought as a child. But when I became a (wo)man, I put away childish things. For now we see as through a glass, dimly, but then, face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know, even as I also am known. 1. Corinthians 13: 11-12

Letting go of our need to control can set us and others free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us. Melody Beattie (author: “Co-dependent no more”)

Meditation: When we suffer within chaotic circumstances, we can get caught in the obsession of having to fix things and needing to control our environment. We often are too anxious not to. Our past taught us that unless we control things, life will be chaotic. Especially families that struggle with addiction often bring forth in their members this obsession to control. When we become dependent on the need to control others, our environment, ourselves and even God, we become very limited. As we try to keep life predictable by influencing or even manipulating every aspect of it, we pay a high cost: we lose touch with our true selves. As we bind our energy around others’ behavior and obsess about what others do or don’t do, our sense of self gets lost or becomes entangled with others whose destructive behavior we try to prevent, fix or adapt to. God wants to set us free from our need to control. God wants to detangle our life energy that got caught in this obsessive cycle. God will set us free and will help us recover.

Prayer: God of freedom, take our anxiety and our sense of having to control things. Help us to let go. We give to you our helplessness, our negative predictions, our fear of losing the person who is self-destructive and our guilt about having limitations. Thank You that we don’t have to be in control. Thank you that You will set us free again and again from the illusion we could save, solve, absolve or heal the other person. Thank you for saving and absolving us and for setting us free. And thank you for wanting this freedom for everybody, including the persons we worry about most. Amen

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

 

We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect. Michelle Obama

Meditation: I am working for two non-profit organizations, both of which are being hosted by churches. One for 40 years at an Episcopal Church, the other for 18 years at a Lutheran Church. The German church I pastor celebrates worship every Sunday in a beautiful space without having to pay rent. We are being integrated as part of the larger Lutheran church’s mission and ministry. The same with the counseling and chaplaincy training program I oversee. We serve clients and students every day in a beautiful and healing environment, again without having to pay rent. The Episcopal church sees us as an extension of their mission and ministry. I feel deeply grateful and am humbled by such deep commitment over such a long time. It is a privilege being part of such vital communities whose mission is to embody Christ in the world.

Prayer: God of generosity, thank you for these two churches who have extended themselves in trust, commitment and hospitality. Thank You for their delight in the work we as smaller ministries do as an extension of their mission. Thank You that they generously share their resources with us. Thank You for Your Spirit that permeates relationships and that makes deep and long lasting covenants possible. You, in the embodiment of Your grace in these church communities, are amazing! Amen

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 1. Peter 3:8

 

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Ann Landers

Meditation: “I am a friend of God” my four year old daughters liked to sing. They beamed with joy when they sang these words. Friendship means “being allowed to know”. God allowed us to know God in Jesus. At that time we became God’s friends and were no longer servants. As we allow somebody to know us, at that moment intimacy happens and initial trust is being established. A journey of vulnerability begins that has the potential to powerfully transform both persons involved. The strong God of Israel chose to become vulnerable and to live in a mutual relationship with us. At that time the hierarchical model of relating came to an end. Instead of servants that needed to respect, fear and did not know, we became God’s friends and confidants. God trusted us, though we betrayed him in the end. God became vulnerable, and yet we used God’s vulnerability to assert our power. The Easter message from last Sunday is that our sinful ways were not the very end of the story. God’s power of love resurrected Jesus. In Jesus God forgave us. He still calls us friends. Although we fail God many times, we are allowed to sing joyfully.

Prayer: God, You chose us to be Your friends. You did not have to do this. When we let You down, insulted and betrayed You, You could have rightly ended Your relationship with us. But You did not. Jesus prayed: “forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”. He appealed to God’s mercy and forgiveness on behalf of us who horribly betray God every day. God chooses to keep the friendship door open. God knows our shortcomings and our brokenness. We are humbled, touched and deeply grateful. Gracious God, there is no greater honor than being called Your friends. Amen

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

The final act of an unraveling society isn’t immoral behavior; it’s canonizing immoral behavior as a ‘new normal’ and celebrating it as a ‘moral victory.’ Jeff Iorg

Meditation: Our society is being shaped by the media. The media has succumb to a “new normal” dictated by the politicians in power. Words have become relative. Promises can be changed overnight. Immoral and unethical behavior is not being questioned. A president using his office to enrich his family businesses and to build an empire has apparently become the “new normal”. Individuals may be outraged, but the society at large seems to be complacent, silent, non-responsive… Where are the demonstrators? Who is holding this government accountable? How can our basic values of honesty, respect, truth telling, promise keeping and integrity disappear like this and the opposite of those values suddenly become portrait as the “new normal”?

Prayer: God of Truth, how come we collude with the twisting of truth? Abusers are being portrait as victims. Victims are being called criminals. You know the truth. The people in power can try to bury the truth, but the truth will not stay in the grave. This is the week after Easter. The victims will be redeemed. Abusers and their evil doing will be revealed for all the world to see. God You are justice and You have the last word. We thank you that in the end, Truth will always prevail. Amen

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8

If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner. Nelson Mandela

Meditation: When we enter a system to make changes, we will often find resistance and sometimes even make enemies. Often this has to do with projection. We are being seen as a threat and viewed as enemies to the “status quo”. If we can understand those projections as fear responses and as a natural instinct to protect what one knows against the “unknown”, then we do not need to react the same way. The challenge is to not fall into the temptation to see the persons resisting us as our enemies, but to pray for them. As we pray, we begin treating them with respect and we will offer a listening ear to their concerns and fears. As we engage them in this way, we have a good chance of finding a working partner at least and a possible friend at best. Often the person who resists us the most can become our strongest advocate. If in this process of change we can first hold the strong emotions and projections and then overcome them with engagement, prayer and blessing, a real connection and partnership can emerge.

Prayer: God of transformation, You are the creative life force that brings about change and that accompanies us through the changes of our lives. Often we fear You. Often we resist You as we are comfortable in our familiar ways. You allow us to fight against You, complain about You and even be angry with You. God, you are patiently enduring our reactions. Instead of retaliating, You patiently listen to us, until we are ready to trust You. And as we begin to open our minds and hearts, You invite us to join You in partnership and to become co-creators with You.  As our relationship with You starts building on increasing trust, You walk with us into the changes that our life holds for us. Thank You. We are grateful and we are blessed. Amen

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1. Peter 3:9

Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. Maya Angelou

Meditation: Today was Easter Monday and my workplace took a day off to rest along with the church that has gone through the busiest week of the year. I slept, baked a cake, took care of a few long postponed home care needs, walked the dog and went to the gym. All things that restored my sense of grounding. I feel rested tonight and closer to myself. I was able to not worry about work related matters for a day. This reminds me that I am more than the roles I function in. I need these days. I need these hours when I spend time alone, reflect, pray, sleep, rest…

Prayer: Creator God, the story of creation talks about You resting. Jesus rested and invited his disciples to do the same. Thank you for the rhythm of work and rest. Help us to listen to You, to listen to our bodies that become weary and our soul that becomes tired. Help us to overcome the cultural pressures to work all the time. Keep us from burning out and making work our God. Amen

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, Jesus said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31