Counseling as the practice of non-judgment

When we grow up in not safe environments

physically or emotionally,

we develop a judgmental attitude –

either towards others as “not being safe”,

“not being good enough”,

“not meeting our standard or our needs” –

or we turn against ourselves,

judging us as “stupid”, “deficient”,

“not good enough” or “a failure”.

Neglect, abuse and traumatic environments

create this unsafe space of judgment.

Therapy can become a judgment free zone,

a safe space to explore, learn, observe, remember

and make meaning.

We practice non-judgment with ourselves first,

and then also with others.

Accepting our past that we cannot change,

while developing compassion

for the child, teenager and young adult we were –

this creates a safe space.

We develop a new secure attachment

first with ourselves,

and then also with others

who share this non-judgmental space

and compassionate attitude with us.

Welcome to this safe space…