Love means Freedom

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free” Thich Nhat Hanh

The difference between narcissistic love and healthy love:

Narcissistic love seeks to use others as supply.

That kind of love controls and manipulates to only get own needs met,

without consideration how the other person might be impacted or feel.

Actually, the word “love” in this case

is a cover up term for abuse and neglect.

Healthy love seeks the happiness of the other person.

This kind of love lets the beloved be free

and does not use them to get own needs met.

Love that allows for freedom and space

is also deeply considerate and compassionate.

Do you feel free in your relationship?

Then you are being truly loved.

Being Yourself…

“To be beautiful means to be yourself.

You don’t need to be accepted by others.

You need to accept yourself.” Thich Nhat Hanh

As the New Year begins,

many people make resolutions about

how they want to change and improve themselves.

And when they fall short after a few weeks,

they then blame themselves and feel bad.

What if our New Year’s resolution was

to accept ourselves completely,


and with all our imperfections?

When we decide to fully embrace who we are,

we live counter cultural and escape the addiction

of our time to impress others with creating images

of success that hide our human and true selves.




our true

and human selves.

Let’s make 2023 a year

of “freedom to be”!

Touch the Miracle…

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive” Thich Nhat Hanh

These days in between the years have a special flavor.

They taste like old and new at the same time.

They sound like calm after the storm.

They look like a resting place after a long walk.

They smell like cold weather with the crisp of new arriving.

When we use all our senses,

when we taste,



watch and smell,

while breathing deeply,

our mind finally calms down

and we realize the beauty,

the amazing miracle of being alive.

Many of us have been running…

“Many of us have been running all our lives. Practice stopping.” Thich Nhat Hanh

It is not easy to stop and be still. So much noise in our heads. So much unrest and unfinished business.

This season invites us to stop. To stop and just “be”. Just breathe…

Don’t bring a gift. Just bring yourself.

Don’t worry about not being prepared. Just be fully present.

Don’t miss this very moment. Stop running.

Let go of the past. Breathe in this very moment. And trust that tomorrow will take care of itself:

while you practice stopping and “being”.

Stop running. Start “being”.

Loving Wishes

As my mother collapsed today

and is being treated in the hospital

supported by an external pace maker

and awaiting an internal, permanent one next week,

I am sending loving wishes her way:

May all her fears be soothed.

May her pain be eased.

May her caregivers be extra kind.

May her doctors be wise and competent.

May her inner child find refuge.

May her heart receive support

and her body new strength.

May this procedure prolong her life

and renew her strength.

May all things work together for good.

May she know that she is loved,

and may she feel safe

in the midst of her vulnerability.

What a gift!

This day, this hour, this moment

is such a gift!

Never again will things come together just like this.

Things align in this particular way only once in eternity…

This moment will never return again –

This breath is a gift-

This pausing in the “here and now” is truly unique…

And I will never be the same again-

tomorrow I will have changed from who I am today.

Thousands of cells in my body will die by tomorrow

and thousands will be renewed.

This sunset, this cloud formation

this combination of nature, work, family and I,

will in this way never come back together again

just like we are now.

So, I am taking a deep breath and

gratefully partake in the mystery,

the sacrament, the wonder

called “My life in the Now”

Time is relative

We often feel that time is running away from us,

that we are short in time, don’t have enough.

We see the weeks and months pass us by.

Do we drink deeply from the timeless

fountain that this moment is offering us?

Fountain of plenty, of eternal…

When I quiet my mind

And my anxious heart,

then I can taste the refreshing water

of silence, of unity with all that is.

Then time becomes relative

and maybe even irrelevant –

The quiet water of eternal timelessness

lies right underneath the surface.

Am I stopping to drink, or am I

too rushed, too anxious and distracted?

I am pausing – now and here

to drink…

As we emerge…

As we emerge out of the shadows

that our families of origin have cast upon us,

we are being restored to the true self

we were always meant to be.

As we learn to trust ourselves

and no longer take on emotions and patterns

that feel confusing or insane,

we grow into the person that the universe

intended us to become.

As we emerge, loving ourselves

as this one person did who was capable

of unconditional acceptance and love,

we begin to shine.

As the light falls in and through us

like sun beams illuminating a crystal,

we experience a beautiful array of colors


I can’t wait to see your colorful true self emerging.



When we choose to become more aware

and conscious of our life patterns, our roles and functioning,

when we decide to no longer live in pain, abuse, neglect or self-loathing,

when we step out of the box, the past and the expectations of others,

then we become like a caterpillar that enters the cocoon,

not knowing what will happen next.

All we knew: our identity, our shape, our persona, our familiar life space

fall away –

and as the caterpillar inside of the cocoon becomes “mush”

so we as well experience a metamorphosis

never felt before:

In the darkness and disorientation of our cocoon times,

we are being transformed.

Familiar shapes and patterns are being rearranged,

so we can fulfill our purpose.

Wings grow where before only tired legs carried us.

Our weary body is being transformed into an agile torso,

and leaving the cocoon, we suddenly know how to fly…

Shedding the old life that made us crawl and constantly be hungry and thirsty,

we lift ourselves into unimagined heights,

reaching blossoms and trees that were unreachable before.

Nurtured, warmed by the sun and carried gently by the wind.

Mother Nature smiling as we find our purpose –

at last…

Emotional Fields

Growing up, you not only inherited your genetic make up

from many generations before,

you were also born into an “emotional field”

that shaped how you “are”, “feel” and “behave” in this world:

Passed down through many generations are feeling patterns

of depression, anxiety, trauma triggering, anger and rage.

What to do with those?

Just like genetic predispositions,

you will want to learn all you can

about these emotional fields

that you inherited – paired with

the sometimes destructive

emotional expressions

or coping mechanisms

that were also passed down to you.

And then you can work on

first fully accepting

and forgiving the old patterns,

and after doing so, you can then learn to shift

into new, healthier emotional fields and coping mechanisms.

The inherited dominant emotion patterns in your life

are only being dangerous and repeated

when unconscious.

The good news is: Emotional fields can be changed.

Dominant features do not have to be passed down

to future generations.

You can be the first to shift away,

and you can create new fields and patterns.

Let’s engage in awareness and in shifting.

Your children and life partners will be deeply grateful!

And so will you!

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