This day, this hour, this moment

is such a gift!

Never again will things come together just like this.

Things align in this particular way only once in eternity…

This moment will never return again –

This breath is a gift-

This pausing in the “here and now” is truly unique…

And I will never be the same again-

tomorrow I will have changed from who I am today.

Thousands of cells in my body will die by tomorrow

and thousands will be renewed.

This sunset, this cloud formation

this combination of nature, work, family and I,

will in this way never come back together again

just like we are now.

So, I am taking a deep breath and

gratefully partake in the mystery,

the sacrament, the wonder

called “My life in the Now”

We often feel that time is running away from us,

that we are short in time, don’t have enough.

We see the weeks and months pass us by.

Do we drink deeply from the timeless

fountain that this moment is offering us?

Fountain of plenty, of eternal…

When I quiet my mind

And my anxious heart,

then I can taste the refreshing water

of silence, of unity with all that is.

Then time becomes relative

and maybe even irrelevant –

The quiet water of eternal timelessness

lies right underneath the surface.

Am I stopping to drink, or am I

too rushed, too anxious and distracted?

I am pausing – now and here

to drink…

As we emerge out of the shadows

that our families of origin have cast upon us,

we are being restored to the true self

we were always meant to be.

As we learn to trust ourselves

and no longer take on emotions and patterns

that feel confusing or insane,

we grow into the person that the universe

intended us to become.

As we emerge, loving ourselves

as this one person did who was capable

of unconditional acceptance and love,

we begin to shine.

As the light falls in and through us

like sun beams illuminating a crystal,

we experience a beautiful array of colors

exploding,

I can’t wait to see your colorful true self emerging.

Metamorphosis

When we choose to become more aware

and conscious of our life patterns, our roles and functioning,

when we decide to no longer live in pain, abuse, neglect or self-loathing,

when we step out of the box, the past and the expectations of others,

then we become like a caterpillar that enters the cocoon,

not knowing what will happen next.

All we knew: our identity, our shape, our persona, our familiar life space

fall away –

and as the caterpillar inside of the cocoon becomes “mush”

so we as well experience a metamorphosis

never felt before:

In the darkness and disorientation of our cocoon times,

we are being transformed.

Familiar shapes and patterns are being rearranged,

so we can fulfill our purpose.

Wings grow where before only tired legs carried us.

Our weary body is being transformed into an agile torso,

and leaving the cocoon, we suddenly know how to fly…

Shedding the old life that made us crawl and constantly be hungry and thirsty,

we lift ourselves into unimagined heights,

reaching blossoms and trees that were unreachable before.

Nurtured, warmed by the sun and carried gently by the wind.

Mother Nature smiling as we find our purpose –

at last…

Growing up, you not only inherited your genetic make up

from many generations before,

you were also born into an “emotional field”

that shaped how you “are”, “feel” and “behave” in this world:

Passed down through many generations are feeling patterns

of depression, anxiety, trauma triggering, anger and rage.

What to do with those?

Just like genetic predispositions,

you will want to learn all you can

about these emotional fields

that you inherited – paired with

the sometimes destructive

emotional expressions

or coping mechanisms

that were also passed down to you.

And then you can work on

first fully accepting

and forgiving the old patterns,

and after doing so, you can then learn to shift

into new, healthier emotional fields and coping mechanisms.

The inherited dominant emotion patterns in your life

are only being dangerous and repeated

when unconscious.

The good news is: Emotional fields can be changed.

Dominant features do not have to be passed down

to future generations.

You can be the first to shift away,

and you can create new fields and patterns.

Let’s engage in awareness and in shifting.

Your children and life partners will be deeply grateful!

And so will you!

Surrender

There is a trauma trigger response

many don’t know, which is: “Submitting”.

The trauma victims give in and give up

their power to forces that are too powerful

to resist. This seems the only option

at the time for the body and soul

to save themselves.

“Surrendering” sounds the same,

yet it is the opposite experience:

The trauma victims have learned to tighten up,

to freeze or flee or fight in order to control life,

yet then, in a movement of slowing down,

of turning inward, of breathing deeply,

trusting and respecting one’s self again

“surrender” might happen.

The victim becomes a survivor.

A deep peace, a letting go as “surrendering”:

the experience of being held

by self-compassion and love.

Healing is the movement away from fear and anger,

away from that which diminishes,

uses and abuses us,

Healing is the life force

that replenishes, builds up,

protects and nurtures.

Healing is the opposite of trauma.

Our body knows how to heal

once we stop accumulating more pain

and more trauma repetitions.

We can help our body and our spirit heal

by refusing more trauma

to enter our boundaries.

We can breathe, meditate, stretch,

release toxins, hydrate, refuse toxic relationships

and begin loving ourselves.

Healing is the movement of love.

There is this pull in us humans

to control the flow of life,

its natural development and the growth of things.

Resisting this pull to control

is the spiritual practice of “letting go” as in:

Letting life be, letting it flow, letting it transform

in its own time-

in its own way.

When we try to shape life

into the ways we imagine,

it will resist us,

and we will suffer.

We get restricted, stuck or anxious.

When we allow life

“to be”, flow, transform –

and we lean into it, appreciate it, welcome it –

life will reveal itself

in new colors, forms, shapes and ways

never known before.

Let go! Life invites you to dance with it!

When confusion clouds your mind

and “old tapes” begin to play –

when you don’t know which direction to go

or how to get “unstuck” –

when your brain is so triggered by events

that remind you of former times of abuse or neglect –

Then remember

that deep within you,

there is a calm place,

untouched by harm,

untroubled by the wild waves of your life.

You can reach that calm place

by breathing into it, deeply and slowly,

moving your diaphragm while

signaling your brain to calm and let you

access this peace within…

And then focus on something life giving:

nature, music, a good book, a creative activity,

movement of your body or an extra nap…

Healing is a journey and a practice!

The backyard becomes my sanctuary

when I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.

Early in the morning,

I hear the insects buried deep inside the flower blossoms

and see the birds nipping at the fresh water I put out for them.

Words are not needed.

Just a fresh breeze of air on my skin –

like a gentle hug from Mother Nature.

That is all that is spoken.

The pines above provide shade

in the summer heat – like a church dome

protecting its visitor.

Here I return several times throughout my day.

And each time the sunlight

illuminates my sanctuary in diverse angles

with different colors and reflections.

I feel peace, here in nature.

Until fireflies and circling bats

bid me “good night”.

Sacred, healing, peace for my soul:

“I belong after all!”