Surrender

There is a trauma trigger response

many don’t know, which is: “Submitting”.

The trauma victims give in and give up

their power to forces that are too powerful

to resist. This seems the only option

at the time for the body and soul

to save themselves.

“Surrendering” sounds the same,

yet it is the opposite experience:

The trauma victims have learned to tighten up,

to freeze or flee or fight in order to control life,

yet then, in a movement of slowing down,

of turning inward, of breathing deeply,

trusting and respecting one’s self again

“surrender” might happen.

The victim becomes a survivor.

A deep peace, a letting go as “surrendering”:

the experience of being held

by self-compassion and love.

Healing is the movement away from fear and anger,

away from that which diminishes,

uses and abuses us,

Healing is the life force

that replenishes, builds up,

protects and nurtures.

Healing is the opposite of trauma.

Our body knows how to heal

once we stop accumulating more pain

and more trauma repetitions.

We can help our body and our spirit heal

by refusing more trauma

to enter our boundaries.

We can breathe, meditate, stretch,

release toxins, hydrate, refuse toxic relationships

and begin loving ourselves.

Healing is the movement of love.

There is this pull in us humans

to control the flow of life,

its natural development and the growth of things.

Resisting this pull to control

is the spiritual practice of “letting go” as in:

Letting life be, letting it flow, letting it transform

in its own time-

in its own way.

When we try to shape life

into the ways we imagine,

it will resist us,

and we will suffer.

We get restricted, stuck or anxious.

When we allow life

“to be”, flow, transform –

and we lean into it, appreciate it, welcome it –

life will reveal itself

in new colors, forms, shapes and ways

never known before.

Let go! Life invites you to dance with it!

When confusion clouds your mind

and “old tapes” begin to play –

when you don’t know which direction to go

or how to get “unstuck” –

when your brain is so triggered by events

that remind you of former times of abuse or neglect –

Then remember

that deep within you,

there is a calm place,

untouched by harm,

untroubled by the wild waves of your life.

You can reach that calm place

by breathing into it, deeply and slowly,

moving your diaphragm while

signaling your brain to calm and let you

access this peace within…

And then focus on something life giving:

nature, music, a good book, a creative activity,

movement of your body or an extra nap…

Healing is a journey and a practice!

The backyard becomes my sanctuary

when I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.

Early in the morning,

I hear the insects buried deep inside the flower blossoms

and see the birds nipping at the fresh water I put out for them.

Words are not needed.

Just a fresh breeze of air on my skin –

like a gentle hug from Mother Nature.

That is all that is spoken.

The pines above provide shade

in the summer heat – like a church dome

protecting its visitor.

Here I return several times throughout my day.

And each time the sunlight

illuminates my sanctuary in diverse angles

with different colors and reflections.

I feel peace, here in nature.

Until fireflies and circling bats

bid me “good night”.

Sacred, healing, peace for my soul:

“I belong after all!”

The simple things in life

can mean the most…

A sandwich prepared by a friend,

a phone call by someone who remembered you,

the hammock in the shade of the backyard,

enough money in the bank to buy sweet cherries,

a hug from your teenage daughter,

a cup of peppermint tea reminding of childhood…

Simple

and yet most meaningful.

All these are moments

that speak the language

of “love and care”

nothing less –

simply essential,

simply “deep joy” and “gratitude”…

Peace does not mean the absence

of challenge or uncertainty.

Peace is not a substance we can buy,

preserve or keep in store.

Peace is not the belief in something or someone,

nor a possession  we have at our disposal.

Peace is the practice

of letting go.

Letting go of expectations,

letting go of past and future images.

Peace is the embracing of impermanence

while cherishing the continuation of life

in many different forms.

Peace can be found in the “here and now” only,

and not in yesterday or tomorrow.

Peace is the practice of unifying

one’s own little story

with the bigger story of life,

of nature, of creation, humanity and the Divine.

Peace are solitude moments

of touching that which we call “eternal”.

“Eternal” does not describe “time”

as much as it captures a “space”

of interconnectedness,  of “interbeing”.

Peace and “Interbeing” are one.

Did you know?

When our anxious and stressed-out mind

runs our daily life,

we often allow all kinds

of negative, toxic and traumatic materials

into our system.

Our body, soul and spirit suffer –

they get neglected or abused, and at least

minimized or ignored.

Our bodies are amazing organisms

that are deeply interconnected:

When our mind follows toxic or angry thoughts,

our muscles get stiff and tight.

When our emotions run wild,

our head starts hurting or our back begins to ache.

Only when we become

observers and lovers

of this miracle called “our body”,

will we be able to stop our mind

from dumping toxins into this

our “holy holding space”.

As we love and observe,

we learn to release toxins,

and let go of long held trauma,

stress and pain.

We realign our body with our mind

and calm our soul.

Those three can become one again

through the practices of:

compassionate reflecting,

meditation or prayer,

stretching or Yoga,

journaling,

creating of art or music,

nature bathing…

Did you know?…

Often the feelings of shame and guilt

are being created in us by outside forces

that judge, condemn, and deny or keep taboos.

When shaming and guilting are being used

as a weapon,

they can destroy a person’s

self-esteem and self-trust.

Society, religion, school and family systems

use shaming and guilting as methods

to control, deflect or deny

their own responsibilities and standards

not kept or values not met,

but then projected on individuals

who are made into scapegoats.

When shame and guilt feelings

are brought to the surface,

new life can grow.

When kept secrets and taboos are being revealed,

healing can begin.

When light is shone on injustices,

failures, cruelty and abuse by individuals and systems,

shame fades away like the morning fog

giving way to the sun rising.

No, it was not your fault.

Yes, they shamed and guilted you in order not to deal

with their own sin, their betrayal, their manipulation,

their collusion, their denial.

Yes, you will rise out of shame and guilt

like the Phoenix from the ashes.

You will discover your worth, your beauty,

your freedom, your self-esteem and self-trust!

Let the light come in.

and you will be restored to the wholeness

that has been there all along.

Breathe deeply

When we breathe deeply

and slowly at least ten times

(counting: for 4 in and for 6 out)

all the way into our abdomen:

we signal our “trauma brain”:

that we are ready to be calm,

that there is no danger,

that the fear, anger or rage

we might experience

are trauma triggers from our past.

We are in control

when we breathe like that.

We take back

the harm that trauma caused.

We are letting go of the toxins

from the past

and from the present.

When we breathe like that

we no longer have to react

in anxiety or anger,

we breathe deeply –

and then we respond.

We claim back the control

that our “trauma brain”

has taken from us.

We become “breath warriors” –

and we end the war.